- CONTINUE READING: Ten essential indicators that someone you know may be a narcissist
Psychologists caution that individuals exhibiting intense competitiveness might have grown up under the influence of parents displaying harmful narcissistic tendencies.
A persistent tendency to over-accommodate others often indicates that an individual’s parents may possess troubling personality characteristics associated with psychological disorders and difficulties in relationships.
According to Professor Wendy Behary and Dr. Craig Malkin, there are six key indicators that suggest your parents might possess certain traits. In a recent interview, they discussed ways to "interrupt the pattern" and avoid repeating those behaviors yourself.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is described as a psychological condition marked by an enduring tendency toward exaggerated self-importance, excessive desire for praise, and limited capacity for understanding others' feelings.
Approximately one in every twenty individuals in the UK could be affected by this condition to varying extents, according to estimates, and professionals like Professor Behary argue that it remains frequently undiagnosed.
Professor Behary, an expert in treating individuals with narcissistic personality disorder, serves as the director of the Cognitive Therapy Center at... New Jersey warned that the initial clear indicator someone was brought up by a narcissist is their inability to set boundaries.
They can't express 'I matter, I have my own needs,' she said. HuffPost .
According to Dr. Craig Malkin, an esteemed psychologist, kids raised by narcissistic parents often experience being labeled as "ill, unstable, or self-centered" when they voice even their simplest requirements. This upbringing leads many of these individuals to become overly accommodating adults who struggle with asserting themselves.
A further indication that someone grew up with a narcissistic parent is when they display traits of a harmful or manipulative character.
Dr. Malkin explains that these harmful characteristics—including tactics like manipulation to belittle others, gaslighting, and inducing guilt—are typically acquired behaviors.
Thus, it isn’t surprising that strong-willed kids, who tend to be naturally outgoing, might turn into narcissists themselves as part of an “if you can’t beat them, join them” dynamic, he explained.
Experts noted that kids raised by narcissistic parents frequently become overly competitive with their brothers and sisters.
"Highly narcissistic individuals take great pleasure in placing others on pedestals—perhaps almost as much as they enjoy bringing them down," Dr. Malkin said.
Fourth up is this one: "Your whole childhood was spent extinguishing flames and keeping things calm."
As explained by Professor Behary, offspring of narcissistic parents frequently carry a greater share of the family’s emotional burdens compared to their parents, which can make them feel more like partners rather than children.
She stated: "It’s the feeling of dramatic tension that the child believes they must handle. To accomplish this, they often have to give up many of their natural childhood needs."
Experts suggested that individuals who base their self-worth on outside approval during childhood and later years might have grown up under the influence of parents exhibiting harmful behavioral patterns.
"The child of a narcissist comes to understand that their value lies solely in what they can achieve," Dr. Malkin explained.
This is because Narcissists frequently exhibit an intense desire for exceptional achievements and elevated social standing that commands admiration.
Ultimately, specialists explained that kids raised by a narcissistic parent frequently have difficulty developing their own identity.
Narcissistic parents frequently attempt to experience life indirectly through their children, steering them toward career paths they personally wished to pursue.
"Many children of narcissists often express feeling as though they were expected to mirror their parent’s image instead of developing into their own individual," Professor Behary said.
Individuals displaying narcissistic traits, frequently acquired through parental influence, tend to face higher risks of encountering psychological issues, challenges in relationships, and difficulties related to drug addiction. studies show.
A narcissistic parent may also lead to estrangement between siblings, as each vies for attention—often resulting in excessive admiration for one child and criticism or hostility directed toward the other.
Such rejection may cause kids to develop harmful characteristics similar to those of their parents, driven by anxiety about being mocked by others outside the family.
Nevertheless, the specialists noted that this damaging pattern can be interrupted.
Kids of narcissists who catch themselves using harsh words and throwing insults still have options—they just need to be ready to put in some serious emotional effort.
Psychologists suggest that breaking the cycle begins with recognizing the unmet childhood needs stemming from parental shortcomings, followed by embracing acceptance as part of the healing process.
Dr. Malkin went on to say: "[Individuals raised by narcissistic parents] must learn to feel at ease both experiencing — and showing — emotions such as sorrow, isolation, anxiety, and being overwhelmed when around loved ones."
Nevertheless, he cautioned that in certain situations, someone brought up by a narcissist might need to think about reducing contact with their parents as they grow older.
Three primary red flags indicating a potentially destructive parental figure include mistreatment, refusal to acknowledge problems, and antisocial personality traits.
Dr. Malkin cautioned that in this instance, psychopathy—which involves a pattern of deceit and manipulative behavior—suggests the individual might genuinely be unable to empathize with others.
Nobody ought to endure emotional or physical mistreatment, and when parents aren’t willing to recognize that an issue exists from the start, meaningful change becomes unlikely.
He continued: "Those who commit acts of abuse bear full responsibility for their actions, and stopping it lies solely with them."
Interactions will remain unsafe until they take action.
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