While marriage continues to hold significance as a social tradition, many modern couples view it not as an essential measure of their affection or dedication to one another.
Actor and model Diana Penty who has shared her life with partner Harsh Sagar for more than ten years, lately spoke about being content in a long-standing cohabiting relationship without taking the step of getting married. She explained to... Hauterrfly “Yes, I’m in a committed relationship. I wouldn’t stand on a rooftop announcing it, but my partner and I have been together for 12 years, and we’ve known each other for 22—nearly half my life. So although we aren’t legally married, emotionally I consider myself as good as wedded. To me, it feels like marriage because our commitment mirrors what people expect from such a bond.”
She mentioned that both sets of families back their choice. "Our families are quite laid-back—they value what we share. On both sides, they emphasize that our happiness matters most. There hasn’t been any push for us to get married. We cohabit, own a pet together, and everyone around us is aware we’re a couple. Honestly, there’s no hurry at all. In essence, it feels almost like marriage; it simply isn’t formalized legally. However, that doesn’t change anything for either of us," she shared.
What emotional or mental elements contribute to making extended cohabitation arrangements equally satisfying and steady compared to conventional matrimony?
As per counseling psychologist Athul Raj, lasting relationships aren't held together primarily by marriage ceremonies. "What truly matters," he explains, "is consistent effort, open communication, and the way individuals support one another during tough times. While cohabitation might lack formal legality, the emotional bond can be equally strong — often even stronger."
He mentions that couples who have been living together for a long time They tend to remain together not due to outside pressures, but because their partnership continues to function well for both individuals. Without the formal commitment of marriage, partners frequently engage in more purposeful communication. Since long-term stability isn't taken for granted, there’s usually greater attention placed on truly listening to one another, resolving disagreements effectively, and regularly discussing shared objectives and beliefs.
He states, "On an emotional level, such connections usually develop with less presumption. Responsibilities are discussed instead of automatically expected. Limits are clearly communicated, not just understood silently. The lack of an official label also does not lessen the strength of the connection. In fact, it calls for greater understanding—regarding each person’s expectations, how they view commitment, and their approach to dealing with emotions."
Couples can handle external expectations about formalizing their relationship by focusing on open communication, setting boundaries, and staying true to their own timeline.
1. **Talk openly with each other**: It’s important for partners to discuss what they both want from the relationship without outside influences clouding their judgment. Understanding where each person stands helps avoid misunderstandings later.
2. **Set clear boundaries with others**: Family members or friends may push for milestones like engagement or marriage based on cultural norms or personal opinions. Couples should politely but firmly express that these decisions belong solely to them.
3. **Resist comparison traps**: Social media often fuels comparisons between relationships. Remember—every couple moves at different paces; rushing into something just because someone else did isn’t healthy long-term.
4. **Take time before making big steps**: Pressures might make you feel rushed when considering major life changes together such as moving-in plans tying-the-knot etc., always ensure readiness emotionally & practically speaking matters most over pleasing anyone externally involved!
5. **Seek support wisely** - If feeling overwhelmed consider talking through concerns either jointly via counseling sessions individually reaching out trusted mentors/friends who will offer unbiased advice rather than fuel additional stress points around this topic area further more!
Ultimately love thrives best under mutual respect understanding so prioritising internal harmony above all ensures stronger foundations built upon genuine connection instead forced obligation dictated otherwise...
In the fabric of our culture, Raj observes that dedication is usually acknowledged only when it conforms to a conventional structure—primarily, matrimony. "Thus, when partners declare their union," Totally dedicated yet unmarried It may lead to unease within families and among friends."
He explains, "During counseling sessions, I frequently advise partners to first clarify their connection behind closed doors before addressing others. Are they emotionally connected? Do they envision building a life together moving forward? And do both individuals experience feelings of security and respect within the bond? When these aspects are certain, handling outside expectations doesn’t shake them as easily."
The expert adds that it's natural to feel upset when those around you don't grasp your decisions. However, what matters most for couples is understanding that their bond isn't validated through outside acceptance—it grows from the strength of connection they experience within their own partnership.
"It's equally essential to recognize that making non-traditional decisions sometimes brings along a sense of isolation. There could be times when your connection isn’t obvious to those around you, which might hurt. However, if your relationship feels strong, meaningful, and genuine to you, then that itself serves as its own kind of affirmation," says Raj in conclusion.
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